Thursday, April 16, 2009

An October Girl



A wild wind flower
In the month of October
With wide brown eyes
Blossomed prematurely
The little nose dimple
Let every one around

Bewildered, Bewildered

When that long slender body
Squeaked in Mom’s arms
Those rose petal lips
When pouted pleasingly
Her sharp shrill cries,
Let everyone around

Bewildered, Bewildered

Since the age of four
In negation of norms
To refute the orders
In defiance of society
All behavioral reforms
Rebellious shrugs
Wide resentful eyes,
Let every one around

Bewildered, Bewildered

During years of teen
Mood swings, sobriety
Extremes of emotions
Philosophical sensibility
Her talents to compose
Sonnets, moving poetry
But that sadness
In adolescence
Let every one around

Bewildered, Bewildered

With mind ahead of times
With heart full of desires
An apple of daddy’s eyes
And Mommy’s little wonder
Love was around her
Her soul craved to wander
Erroneous choices of hers
Let everyone around

Bewildered, Bewildered

From a bud to flower
She blossomed to wither
Like a lost hare of fable
She acquired it all,
However too late
That surrender, that patience
Let every one around

Bewildered, Bewildered

All was predestined
Or what was the case?
For the anguish and hardships
Why was she chosen?
What were the reasons?
Why did she roulette?
And let every one around

Bewildered, Bewildered

Why withering so soon?
Pretty pink lips grumbled
Wide brown eyes rose
Flourished flowers of hope
Green sprouts of fresh goals
Luck again brought back
That weather so cruel
Again she scuffled
Again she fumbled
And let every one around

Bewildered, Bewildered

In search of spring
To fill that vacuum
For that lasting bloom
She glued her petals
She watered her roots
She cultivated exotic
Gathered tart fruits
Cropped novel wishes
Then she understood

She wasn’t the flower
Of the month of April
In spring season only
That rejoice to blossom

Her splendor, her charms
Her fragrance, her nectar
Her colors, her patterns
Germinates, enhanced
Whenever arrived
That autumn so awesome


With new wisdom lightening
In her wide brown eyes
An October girl
Resumed her magic and
Let everyone around

Bewildered, bewildered.

















I am a fish

I am a fish who wants to fly
Instead of deep, dark, dim
Murky waters
I want to breathe in
Clean and clear
Wide and open sky

Life in ocean, sea, or lake,
River or aquarium,
Bowl or glass case
Smolders, suffocates me

On earth surface
Where water is shallow
Life wherever I see
A wild race to follow

With no competition
In my own space
I am a fish on earth surface
I would like to swim
At my own set pace

I don’t want to swim
Where big eats small
Jagged jaws creatures
Killer squids’
Evil octopuses’ toll

Deep, dim lit waters
Drown me always
Fancy glass aquarium
Corrode my glaze
Jubilant River
Choke my pace
Stillness of Lakes
Declare death in my case

I am a fish
Doesn’t want to swim
In misty waters
I don’t want to live
Where darkness, clutter
Forever prevails
Precious stones shrouded
Ignored or defamed
Sunshine is far fetched
A dream, a myth
A fairytale

I am a fish who wants to fly
High and above
Pure and untamed sky

I want to float
With clouds on my side
With nature so sweet

To give
To stay
Together with all
No white no black
No Tall or small
They accumulate all
The little ones, the tiny
Drops of water
Smallest of all
Together they float
Together they give
To the unkind earth
Rain water to live
I want to swim
Freely float and fly
Above the clouds
Beyond seventh sky

Explore new dimensions
A fish in transition

Who does not want fins
Trade limbs to wings
Get tickets to fly.
Wide and open
Beyond restrictions
Farther away
From seventh sky

Monday, January 12, 2009

In the Gallery Of Pakistan


















My journey began with the gallery of Pakistan.

The moment I entered in the gallery, I was not only astounded by the extraordinary splendor and splash of vivid colors around, but also by the positive energy that filled the ambience.
I saw variety of pictures. There were colorful landscapes of rocky mountainous ranges; golden vast folds of sand dunes, clear blue streams of rivers and seas, serene green valleys adorned with snow covered hills. There were images of historical architectures, pictures of excavated ancient civilizations, sketches of cultural regional attires, food, and festivals. Numerous wall hangings of various kinds of embroideries, block-printings, mirror- works, patch works, and tie-n-dyes, displayed. Whether that was painted ceramics, engraved pottery, placed in one corner or elegantly carved wooden furniture at another, every bend of that gallery was entrancing. I saw musical instruments used in folk music such as ‘Algozha’, ‘Saarangee’, ‘Dholak’, ‘Chimta’, ‘Tabla’, ‘Flute’, ‘Rabab’ and ‘Tamnboora’, to name a few; rare and eye catching they were, in context of usage and embellishments. But the most uplifting were the portraits of hardworking, simpleton villagers and busy city dwellers.

The gallery divided into different regions with prominent labels lighting at the top of their entrance hall. Every region had a peculiar theme color. The theme color of Sindh was blue, highlighting Arabian Sea as its main feature. Signature color of Balochistan was golden brown probably because of its deserts and majestic rocks of mineral reserves. NWFP and FATA region was white as snow; while the areas of Kashmir decorated with hues of aqua green that represented its stunning valleys and rivers. The region of capital city Islamabad i.e. Punjab was… lush green.
The first region that welcomed me was Sindh. There were pictures of marine life of ‘Karachi’. I adore the magnificence of ocean and everything related to it. Marvelous shots of ports, huge cargo ships, turtles, dolphins, kids collecting seashells, fishermen fishing, crabbing and variety of sea birds at expanded blue lakes were presented. Stayed for a while at each picture and moved away to see the pictures of rural Sindh. Beautiful paintings showed best skills of villagers. Women at one place seen focused in creation of amazing ‘Ajrak’, ‘Rilly’, ‘Chunri’, and embroideries; whereas men of ‘Hyderabad and ‘Haala’ were active, manufacturing glass bangles, delicate designs on wooden furniture. They even decorated their musical instruments like ‘Algoza’, with dangled beads. I had found those local handicrafts eye-catching, but love for nature urged me to go back to wonderful sea life. I went back again to take the last glimpse of my favorite spot so I would remember it for the longest but… something strange happened. I got shocked and scared to death to see that.

What had happened here? All those pictures were mutilated, distorted, and stained as if some anti-art psycho path was unleashed. The sight was creepy. There was blood, hate, violence and death written with bold letters everywhere.

Cool blue water turned turbulent torrid red.
Smiling faces of fishermen, grimed.
The kids who were collecting seashells disappeared.
Sea- gulls, dolphins, and turtles were dead.
Frightened I ran from that place cursing my negative imagination. Regained breath then returned to other pictures of Sindh.
All the paintings previously glowing with neon-lights became dark as if some one had splashed bucket of black on those.
University, college students were not shining in libraries but smoldered by the violent sun which was now flinging rays of odium and biases.
Instead of books and bags, youth had grabbed firearms.
All cheerful spirits became bleak. Rural or urban had ceased their work and seen entangled in fights.
Right in front of me, while I was standing there shuddering with fear, the glowing label of Sindh dimmed out. Before the frightening darkness and turmoil of red Arabian Sea gulped entire hallway I decided to escape to adjacent area of Balochistan.


This was better. Calm and quiet.
Balochistan region showed extensions of golden deserts, tall trees hoarded with yellow orange dates, streams of water springing amidst hard rocks. The area was huge. To cover it quickly I flew towards the pictures of ‘Ziyarat’; the unruffled hill station where our Quid spent last days of his life. Pictures of large, red and yellow, peaches and apricot laden trees began to water my mouth...
Sudden smell of burning charcoal disturbed me. I looked back.

Oh no, not again…

Was that a mirage or the golden sand dunes actually formed into a monstrous fire twister, growing swiftly? The force of whirlwind, the amount of heat emitted from flames began destruction.
The statues of great Baloach tribal leaders set on high pedestals, smashed.
I saw fragmented pieces swayed wildly with the fiery wind; far and wide.
The embroidered handworks caught flames and fell from the wall.
The strings of that unique folk musical instrument ‘Rabab’, started vibrating incessantly… The noise was loud tormenting eardrums.
The tranquil milieu of the region vanished in a minute. With hands on both ears to secure them with frenzied, escalating abnormal sound I jumped into next region.


The fresh white tone of Frontier Province and tribal areas instantly relaxed me.

‘Fair’ was the signature of that region. Be it the faces of inhabitants, the hospitable hearts of those great Pushtoons, their ‘Jurga’ system of justice or their weather, all was simply…fair . As a lover of mountain climbing, hiking, skiing I was keen to spot those sporty tourists sites. I decided to take the cable car to enjoy wonders of world’s best mountainous ranges and towering peaks such as K2, from above. Whistling and humming I was having the time of my life witnessing the captivating nature down below. The clean and clear air initiated me to forget the trauma of previous tours of Sindh and Balochistan arcades, when______________

The whole region filled with same peculiar smell as was in previous regions. Instead of shower of steady, tiny snowflakes, I saw thunderous blizzard of fire.
White Himalayan range changed color to reddish orange, sooner than any chameleon ever did.
Blood of blonde, beautiful innocent faces colored clear blue lake of ‘Saif-ul-Maluk’_______ruby red.
Valley soared with cries of honest, hardworking women clad in long frocks and covered in typical ‘Burqas’.
Blue-eyed children, who were busy acquiring knowledge underneath the shades of trees until now, dropped books and picked lethal weapons.
Strangely here, the culprit mysterious iron hand responsible for all the damage was clearly visible. In order to survive, the courageous, well built, warriors forever, proclaimed war for ‘self defense’ against terrors of iron hand. For the sake of ‘fairness’ the fair people began fighting back against force. The great corner of the gallery, constituting the fairy tale meadows of ‘Parachinar’ and ‘Swat’ converted to HELL.

Depressed and with heavy heart I bent my cable car towards the most famous scenic land of that gallery also known as ‘Kashmir’, the ‘Paradise on Earth’. My cable car resisted to go inside like the stubborn stallion. I was thrown off the ride with odd halt in front of the aqua green doorway of Kashmir. The dim lights at the entrance made me conscious. I shrugged the alarm made by my ever anxious, too cautious gut voice, and went in.

The aqua green at the entrance faded gradually farther down the alley. Terrifying deadliness seemed to swallow up the place.
The creativity of the artist touched its peak in this corner but lacked far behind in the maintenance part. This component was the most neglected and in dire need of make over. Though the artist had bestowed it with mystical charms of natural wilderness but… then abandoned it, probably. The masterpieces were scribbled, scratched, tarnished, hanged upside down, and framed in sheer bad taste. Whether the damage was on purpose, act of a mischievous child, pure negligence or some evil spell, the display was deplorable. Being a devotee of art, I could not bear that chaotic eerie atmosphere any more… I moved out.

This tour had drained out my energy up till now. Running from one hallway to another in order to seek a fine secure region where I could stay with peace and enjoy the wonderful paintings seemed to be the long lost dream. But hopeless optimism of mine, urged me not to think of exit before plunging for one last shot.

Punjab, the land of great architecture, the land of life, would be the answer to my quest, I thought and resumed expedition. I had heard many fabulous tales about historical, glamorous, cultural city of ‘Lahore’, from people who had visited this region before. I knew that this region was safe, stunning, and nonviolent. Therefore, I decided to take my time and entertain myself, with the jubilant ‘Bhangra’ music, theatre, fashion, and festivals.
This section exhibited the unique blend of old and modern, rural and urban, rich and poor magnificence of art and culture. It was the mini museum. Lahore especially and Punjab in general proudly highlighted the portraits of some of the finest Urdu, Punjabi literary figures of Pakistan. Lahore was known as ‘Paris of Pakistan’ by some and ‘City of Universities’ by others. There was prominent display of spring festival commonly known as ‘BASANT’, where artist had a fervent use of mustard yellow all over. Sky in those pictures shown flocked with various sizes and shapes of kites. Surely I had found my spot…the heart of Pakistan. I went further to explore the crops and cuisine, the parks and buildings of some more of Punjab. The zestful spirits of the people belonging to this part of the gallery was evident and captured with mastered skill. Then I went to the capital city Islamabad.
The picture of ‘Daamn-e-Koah’ which was the highest vista-point situated on green ‘Margalla hills’ covered with thick forest was breath taking. The site of that gleaming, clean park ‘Shakkar Peryan’ and ‘Rawal Dam’ resort never escaped the eyes of any visitor. Islamabad the capital city, stood out among all the other areas of Pakistan. It appeared that the fear, the turbulence, the disturbance, and the chaos developing at other regions of the gallery, had failed to reach here, somehow. I was contemplating my reasons when ________my eyes turned to one picture.

It was the picture of mosque…a red mosque. Suddenly it morphed into black combat fortress that was ballooning rapidly… about to explode any minute.
Bearded religious men stopped to perform prayers by force.
Black veiled women gathered for teaching and learning of Holy ‘Quran’ could not continue lessons any more.
The hands previously seen raised for prayers were hand cuffed.
The students circled around mosque for religious knowledge lined up in long queues as state prisoners.
As I was watching the tragic fate of the unique picture of ‘Red Mosque’, the rest of the photographs of the federal city started swinging like wild pendulum on the wall. Images of the quiet, composed streets of Islamabad flooded with black coats clad protestors. There was flash of flags, posters, placards by political activists. Police officers in blue uniform pointed guns towards their own countrymen.

Within a nanosecond, the black clouds of violent storm spread to every nick and corner of the region.
Noise from shelling of tear gas, bomb blasts, and liberal usage of heavy artilleries from Lahore, Multan and Faisalabad overcame the delightful lively music of ‘Bhangra’.
Yellow spring flowers withered.
Golden crops of wheat, and corn burned.
Art, literature, poetry, songs disappeared from the scene.
There was only fire, smoke, unrest, and anarchy everywhere.

I screamed loud for help___no one came. Where were the guards? Who was in charge? Where had the responsible staff of this gallery gone? I thought and then I realized_______

This gallery was functioning on its own. There was no one to control, no one to check, no one to question and no one to answer.

The realization was too disturbing. Why the guardians had left their own gallery at the mercy of intruders? Was that a wicked conspiracy, malicious meticulous plan by that mysterious hand or a curse by some one? Why the custodians of the place seen nowhere, doing nothing to save the beautiful pictures proudly own by them?

The flames kept on rising. It was a matter of time. The whole gallery could be blazed soon. I should run. The voice in my head yelled, “RUN…SAVE YOURSELF”.

I geared for a dive towards the near by exit door when my heart spoke.

“What will happen here, if you also joined those who fled to other more protected, organized galleries”? I stopped…I listened to my heart…I thought.

What should I do? Should I run for my survival or stay to do whatever I can to save this gallery, a gallery which was the origin of my journey?

I opted for the later.




The Swirl of Suffering



I had a dream last night.

I was standing at a beautiful beach with huge coastline and tall, beautiful palm trees around me. The sea was equally hued blue and green. Tides appeared with rhythmic hum… balanced crest and troughs. The beauty and calmness of the area forced me to stay over there for ever. To absorb the serenity in my soul I took a deep breath and took two steps more.

As I came closer I saw the injustice of nature. The sun was not shining equally on that sea. The blue area was absorbing more sunshine. It was bright and fresh. The waves seemed to be dancing in synchronization. The sea life underneath was visible in clear jubilation. On the other hand, patches of green were murky and turbulent. The green scraps that occupied the major part of sea, was stagnant, dull…contaminated. Many fish were seen drifting along the current while few groups were noisy, violent and swimming vigorously with no direction.

I took few more steps to understand these hues more clearly. On a closer examination I felt not only there was sharp contrast in color, structure and behavior of water but the temperature of the two areas were distinctly in comparison too.
The water of green areas of sea was though much milder at the top but the water was boiling underneath. I could feel the heat radiating and few bubbles reaching at the top.

As the sun began to set, the sunlight shone at green area of sea darkened more. The water instead of getting colder developed strange behavior. It started moving in circles. Gradually heated turbulent waves, violent fish started whirling in crazy manner. Moment by moment…little by little…it all emerged as a humongous ‘Swirl’.

It was huge like the picture of sea monster. It was hot like ‘magma’. It engulfed everything in its proximity. But nothing seemed to fill its appetite. Its chaotic behavior disrupted everything. All the tranquility of the area vanished. The tumultuous circular motion of water rapidly spread to the calmer blue sea. The mad ‘Swirl’ had taken it all.

I witnessed the calamity. Then I thought I should save the sea life, the sea shore, the beauty…I should bring back that peace.

“But how could I do it? It was the injustice of nature that sun was brighter at blue areas of sea. But was that the only cause? Weren’t the visitors like me who had come and enjoyed the beauty of the sea, responsible for bringing the unfortunate catastrophe? Had we been the wiser enough to understand the difference in distribution of nature, the contrasting behavior of waves, had taken the measures earlier to neutralize the gap, the story of this sea would be totally different.”

I opened my eyes with heavy heart. Tears rolling from eyes had wet my face.

Thank God it was a dream…I thought.

But was it really a dream?




Sunday, January 11, 2009

My experience of Parasailing


Longing For Parasailing

One question from the seven famous questions of ‘Husnara’ from the ancient fable of ‘Hatim -Tai’ was; “What was that you have seen once and wish to see that again and again”? If I were to answer it, I would say that ‘a view during Parasailing’ or that ‘experience of flying in air like a bird’.

Flying in air had always been the dream of many Homo sapiens that paved the way for the aeroplane invention. However, airplane flying had always been boring, tiresome and these days scary too, since the incident of 9/11 and increasing hostility in the world. I would rather love to flap my arms, bend my torso, and gear my legs in backward motion to break the gravity and shoo…up in the air.
I got lucky to have some eighty percent of my dream turned into reality in ‘Pataya’( a magical island in Bangkok).
Although I was, fastened up within tight safety jacket and tied up by a cable to the motor boat, but still. The experience of running on the deck for less then a minute, until the boat gained the momentum, was very similar to what I used to see in my dreams. Just when my legs left the deck, colorful parachute on my head blew up, and I saw my self above the sea level, above the sand, above everything; it all again became my dream.

Oh, that wonderful sight… that ‘Bird eye view’…!

Suddenly the world became ‘Lily-putt’, and strangely beautiful. From above, that small island look picturesque, a landscape painted by an unknown artist with hues of blue, brown, and green. Faces, movements, and noises of people were quite inapprehensible which I thought might be the reason of the added charm to the view. All appeared tranquil and serene. In addition, the feeling of light breeze stirring my facial nerve endings was intoxicating.

Nevertheless, the euphoria was short lived. Just after five minutes of staying in air, I started decelerating, back to same crowded place full of pollution (physical and spiritual).

So do I want to do it again? YES! Yes and yes…Only this time I wish to do it like a real bird, a sky dive may be!

It had been five years or so since that experience of ‘Parasailing’ but the memory of that elating feeling, that touch of pure clean air is still fresh in my mind. In times of sorrow or when world seems cruel to me I just close my eyes and relive that experience.

Really, “a thing of beauty is a joy forever.”

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Jurrasic Times are Gone


In the woods of Arizona… another sinister, gloomy night of late Jurassic times was at its climax.

Hiding in the Rocky Mountains, the leader of Brachiosaurus, ‘The Chief’ was tensed, anxious and afraid. He was worried about his baby; the last survivor of his family. His tribe had had a furious fight with Tyrannosaurus-rex’s tribe today.

These Tyrannosaurus-rexes are going out of control. But what can I do? I am just an old, weak and now an injured herbivore. No way could I ever triumph over these meat-eating beasts. I need to protect my baby so we Sauropods will remain on this earth with other nonviolent lizards in peace. Chief Brachiosaurus was concerned for his rapidly diminishing race.
The great giant lizards will become history if planet earth was left in their hands. Oh I feel so helpless.


Chief’s powerful heart was injured by one of the nasty warrior of Tyrannosaurus-rex’s. His eyes filled with tears. Slowly his muscular blood vessels were weakening and were failing to pump enough oxygenated blood to his head through his long neck. He bent and sank on the hard rock of his cave and reached to get the warmth from the youthful body of his young brachiosaurus.
The Chief felt immense pride as he looked towards his dear unconscious baby brachiosaurus.


How bravely he fought, but for how long…? They will return tomorrow with their insatiable appetite. Our enormous ey size doesn’t matter in comparison. These petite scavengers are quick movers. On two legs only they glide like birds.

Chief’s lethal wounds were excruciating.


Baby Brachiosaurus could have been the next chief for Brachiosaurus tribe and representative for all sauropods of Jurassic times.
All Sauropods were so happy. They unanimously agreed on our leadership God knows from where these carnivore lizards came. They brought awful name to the dignity of dinosaurs. If they continue their trend the whole genera of dinosaurs will be extinguished from this earth. These Tyrannosaurus-rexes have no values. Gone are the good old Jurassic days when great Diplodocus, Apatosaurus and Stegosaurus used to dominate.

Chief Brachio’s brain was slowing down. He believed his end had arrived.

Oh God, please help me. Please protect my baby and all lizards of our tribe. I don’t want to die with shame and disgrace. You made us great and giant of all creatures till the present and what we have done? Oh, God help me. Give me a little more time so my baby will become strong and lead his fellow lizards safely to some other place, away from tyrannical Tyrannosaurs. Oh God just a few more years…

He spread his foreleg slowly towards his baby on the floor to gather his last breath closer to him…And Chief closed his eyes.

It was the poke of white shining rays on Chief’s closed eye-lids which awoke him. It was hard but gradually he managed to open his eyes; still unable to see. It was all dazzling white. After a while he was able to grasp the picture. In front of him and all above him on the sky he was surrounded by a shining silver circular object as if moon had descended from sky. It seemed that the whole jungle was glowing as far as chief’s eyes could see. No trace of darkness was there.

Chief heard a deep gentle voice,
“Hi! Chief Brachio I am here to tell you that your prayers are answered and God has sent me to take you from here.”

“What…? Where…? Where you want to take me? And who are you?”

“I am the Time-light. God has sent me to relieve your suffering and your contempt and anger against carnivore lizards. God loves those who are kind to HIS creatures. You will be taken through times to comprehend clearly that you are no disgrace to Dinosaurs or God’s creation.”

By saying so the hanging giant moon descended. Chief and Baby Brachio’s body were invisible, totally immersed in light. He felt as if he had become the light itself. He saw the emitting light rays of which his body was a part now contracting into thin beams receding inside that huge shiny thing. And then he found himself inside that round object. It had glass all around it. He saw himself rising up in the sky. Baby Brachio’s body was on the ground and was disappearing from his sight at high-speed. He screamed his fullest: “My Baby! You left my baby…”
“Don’t worry. He will be safe and taken care of. You were unable to protect him anyway,” The gentle deep voice comforted Chief.
“But where are we going?”
“You will know in a second.”
Chief Brachiosaurus felt as if a he was transformed into a rolling moon thrown up in the sky. All he could see was black space with scanty islands of illuminating oval, round and irregular stones of various sizes flying in all directions. His eyes were adjusting to that darkness when he saw a familiar colorful scene. He found himself amidst his favorite appetizer and surroundings: the green plants, big trees clear blue water, rocks and hills of brown sand.
“I am home” he roared.
“This isn’t your home, my child,” the omnipotent voice of Time-light corrected him. “This used to be your habitat but that was millions of years ago. Now this planet is ruled by the most intelligent, the most beautiful creatures God has ever created.”.
“So our world is now ruled by them? And what are they called? Are they bigger and heavier than me? Because we the Brachiosaurus are heaviest and huge among all the lizards who ever lived. even the Diplodocoids.” Chief Brachio was now enjoying this. His tension was released by the soothing words of Time-light who acknowledged his compassionate soul.
“They are called human beings. And they rule the world now, even though they are only around six feet or so, and they weigh not even one tenth of your weight.”
Chief heard the Time-light chuckle but he gasped when he learned the size of human being. “So are there no lizards left?”
“No, there are lizards but not as large as your kind,” the Time-light answered.
But Chief Brachio’s concentration was elsewhere. He saw himself slimmed down into a thin ray and in a flash he was down on earth as low as the branches of his delicious tree. From below he must have appeared like morning rays of sun sneaking from branches. Chief Brachio was now part of the daylight on planet earth.
“Now we are almost in the same area from where we took off.” The Time-light was still with him and guiding him.
Chief was able to see those creatures, ”the humans” clearly. They were all around. They were big and small and of different colors. And they were quick movers, faster than Tyrannosaurs with only two legs.
Chief’s head whirled when he recapitulated what Light told him -- that they rule the world now. “How could such a tiny creature be the leader of all creatures?”
“Because they have brains…” The Light replied. “God has fixed a piece of flesh inside their head with which they are able to think, and this thinking made them smart and supreme over all creatures.”

It was a closed space beautifully made up of cement, wood, stones and long glass panels. Many humans of different sizes were walking inside. Chief startled. He saw his home inside one of the glass boxes and his fellow dinosaurs. But they were stock-still. “This is a place where humans have kept your bones and from these bones they were able to understand your physical features. With their ability to think they studied about you and acquired complete knowledge about Jurassic times. This is called a museum. Look how these kids are still in love with you, especially you Sauropods, ‘the plant eating dinosaurs’.” Many baby humans were looking through the glass at them. Little baby humans seemed fearless standing in front of them. Their joy and eagerness to touch them, to get closer to them was evident.
“And now look here.” The light pointed in another direction and Chief’s heart jolted. He saw his enemy, ‘Tyrannosaurus-rex’.”
“And carefully observe the expressions on those young faces. They are still afraid of these cruel dinosaurs and do not love or regard them.” Said Time-light.
Chief observed the truth with clarity.
“How do you feel now?” Voice of Time-light inquired.
“Relieved!” Chief realized for the first time that atrocious measures serve only life long ignominy.
“This is your step one up the ladder of soul’s peace.” The cool light whispered. “Now let’s continue this journey and watch some more actions of God’s smartest and supreme creatures of all time.” The Time-light along with Chief Brachiosaurus propelled.
The scenario on the ground was totally horrific for Chief Brachiosaurus. Many humans had gathered who were white and black, and were engaged in fighting, attacking and hurting each other. They were throwing stones and bottles, playing with some fire objects which hurt other humans the most. Chief saw human blood on the ground. No human being cared to wait and help his fellow human; everybody was running after each other or struggling to save themselves.
“Why they are fighting with each other?” The leader of Brachiosaurus wasn’t able to comprehend. “Where is the food for which they are fighting? Are they predators and prey for each other?”
Time-light laughed hysterically. “No, you silly beast. They are not hungry and certainly not attacking to fill their stomach with the meat of other humans. They have plenty to eat and eating of other human’s meat was prohibited a long time ago. But humans have never stopped hurting and fighting with other humans. They have ample excuses to hurt their fellow beings.”
“But even the Tyrannosaurus- rex leaves its prey once his hunger is satisfied.” Chief’s confusion surmounted.
“Yes dear, but not these humans, though God made them with inherent lessons of ‘humanity’. Human beings always forget ‘humanity’ and behave on the ‘animal’ level”
“What do you mean by this…The Humanity?
“Humanity demands that humans care for other humans first. If another person is in pain and in need of something, fulfill his needs first. If one has extra supply of anything -- food, water or shelter -- share it with other fellows who have none…”
“But what if one human is hungry or thirsty? Are they allowed to attack other humans to get their food and fill their stomach? What does ‘humanity’ say?” Chief was trying hard to comprehend this virtue which had made humans so special.
“You see Chief… This highest grade of humanity is not easy to acquire, which is to put other humans first even if one has nothing left for himself, but this is hardly seen in any humans. God has a very special place for those who reach up to his uppermost standard. But God expects basic humanity from each human; which is to avoid hurt in any way to their fellow human beings by one’s mouth, one’s hands, one’s words, one’s actions -- in fact by any means. When any human is attacking any other human for hunger, thirst or for self defense, he is acting on an animalistic level, acting on his basic instincts and God forgives that …but sadly! It’s so unfortunate that men fight other men even when their homes are full of various kinds of foods, their needs are fulfilled and they have extra supplies of everything.
Chief was silent. The Time-light was quiet……
Together two beams of light were blinking on earth. The kind leader of great giant creatures of all time was enlightened .He was not ashamed of himself or mad at his enemy Tyrannosaurus-rex any more. At least Tyrannosaurus-rex only attack when they are under attack or hungry. Otherwise they leave others in peace.
Chief heaved a proud sigh. “Thank You God. You created us dinosaurs of peaceful Jurassic times and not humans of twenty whatever era.”
The Time-light vanished and chief Brachiosaurus died peacefully beside his baby.





Tuesday, January 6, 2009

In An Awe Of Circles and Swirls











In An Awe of Circle

The first invention of science, the first shape
A child learns, draws and understand
Most significant integer in arithmetic
By chance the shape of number ‘Zero’
It’s circles and cycles; it’s all about rounds,
The spiral of time spins all that surrounds.

.We exist in circles, we swim in whirls,
A moment of bubble that dances in swirls
It’s circles and cycles; it’s all about rounds
The spiral of time spins all that surrounds.

From birth to death, from cradle to grave,
From a drop in the womb to the atoms of ash
It’s circles and cycles; it’s all about rounds
The spiral of time spins all that surrounds.

Look at the cosmos, the planets or stars
The forms of moons or their orbital path
It’s circles and cycles; it’s all about rounds
The spiral of time spins all that surrounds.

Panorama of sea, from shells to shrimps
The texture of plants, xylem phloem in glimpse
It’s circles and cycles; it’s all about rounds
The spiral of time spins all that surrounds.

Dawn changes to dusk, night shifts to noon
The pleasures of wealth, horrors of misfortune
It’s circles and cycles; it’s all about rounds
The spiral of time spins all that surrounds.

Whorls on finger tips are detection source
Astral spinning decides destination course
It’s circles and cycles; it’s all about rounds
The spiral of time spins all that surrounds.

The halo around humans, the dark hollows of space
Encircling fields of light, electro-magnetic waves
It’s circles and cycles; it’s all about rounds
The spiral of time spins all that surrounds.

Repeated events of history, circuits in neurology
Reincarnation, ‘Deja-vu’, phenomena of psychology
Hydro-carbon, nitrogen cycles of ecology
Telescopic learning states, also microbiology
Big in biggest surrounding tinniest rounds
A circle of time spins all that surrounds

That Labyrinth of life incessantly swirl
Mass of time and space indefinitely twirl
Huge ‘Spiral Circle’ it is, no start or end
Mind suffer for answers in circular bends
Researchers from age’s religion or science
Wandered in circles of intellectual disguise

We live in circles, we swim in whorls
It’s circles and cycles; it’s all about rounds
The spiral of time spins all that surrounds.



The End

A Gem From My Treasure Of Memories





Twenty years back I went to Srilanka.

After my Mom’s utmost struggle, she was able to get a seat for me in the newly established private medical college of Srilanka, which was North Colombo Medical College. Forty miles away, from the posh city of Colombo, there was small, undeveloped village called Ragama, where on a little hill my medical college was located. I stayed and studied there for two years, from 1986 to 1988. In 1988 when we were about to appear for our first professionals, our exams were postponed, college was closed for indefinite period. All foreign students packed their bags and sadly returned home.

The reason for the closure of that private medical college was not just one but two. Firstly, the country was facing political unrest. Those were the earlier days of intrusion of IPKF (Indian Peace keeping Force). The guerrilla fights were at its peak in North East provinces of Srilanka. The other major reason was the agitation from the students of Colombo faculty (the state medical college of Colombo) against us. The students of Colombo faculty argued, that our college and its students had lesser merits compared to them; but we managed to acquire the admission in medical college because of our wealth/influence. They feared for unnecessary, unfair, high competition in future in context of seeking state jobs. For two years our Board of Governors fought for the affiliation with Colombo faculty; for two years we the students of NCMC waited and waited but in vain. In the mean time we visited twice there. Whenever we were informed of reopening through the letters of our friends who chose to stay, to wait and prepare for exams. Finally, many of us successfully secured places in medical college of Pakistan, mostly in Punjab. Some of my friends went abroad and left the insane pursuit of medical degree; they opt for other equally prestigious degree courses like business administration, chemical engineering etc.

The memories of those days are my treasure.

That was my first travel ever, my first flight...It was horrible. It was small Fokker plane filled with smell of coconut all over. My mother was with me on this trip to help me get settle there as it was my first time far away from home, all alone. My sister and one of my cousins also joined us in order to tour SriLanka. It was not just my first air journey but of my sister and cousin too. All three of us suffered motion sickness, but I vomited through out and even after I reached my boarding place. After that experience my mother never forgot to put pack of ‘Marzine tablets’ in my hand bag whenever I traveled.


I found Sri Lanka beautiful in every way. The thick tropical forest was so widely spread that hardly any patch of land was visible when seen from airplane window. I used to make conscience effort while landing to find any reddish brown patches in midst of green and blue colors stretched far and wide below. Every thing was unique, strange, but charming to me. It was like my dream place; filled with natural exquisiteness. The tall palm, coconut and jackfruit trees, the jungle all around us, the well at the backyard which not only served as a water reservoir but a gossip corner for neighborhood ladies; there we had occasional encounters with snakes and witnessed how-to-catch-them. And that lovely rain which always enhanced the splendor of environment, are etched in my mind for good. The only thing I did not like about it was its food which usually carried coconut smell.
Ragama was a village. My Srilankan colleagues and friends used to tell me that Ragama was nothing in terms of natural beauty as compared to the rest of the country… but It was great for me. I remember I used to feel the sense of exhilaration just by taking a walk up and down the road in front of my boarding place, sometimes with my friend and sometimes alone.
The houses were made in old European style more in country fashion, which I gathered later on, were the reminiscence of Portuguese and Dutch occupation. There were no ceilings and hence no ceiling fans instead the high roofs were made of wood planks to keep the living space airy. Although we paid our landlord to provide ceiling and ceiling fans in our rooms but truly in hot weather of May, June also, unlike Karachi I never felt unbearable heat suffocation there. Every house had red cement floors that I had only seen in ‘Amol Palekhar’s movies or heard from my Mom/ Phoopi (paternal aunt), when they told tales of their home towns in India. The other best thing with which I instantly fell in love were the picket fences and low gates of each house which we Karachiites could never even fancy. Ragama was a peaceful, safe village.
I lived in the house of Christian family Mr. and Mrs. Joe Michael D’Silva ), as a paying guest along with another girl from Karachi (who soon became my best friend). Mr. Joe Michael had three kids. Their eldest daughter was of our age Manjoola. She was our interpreter and guide of the place. My friend and I shared the boarding place but not the rooms. Both of us wanted our privacy as we were ‘same, same but different’ (lol). We both loved poetry, singing, old Indian and Pakistani filmy songs/movies, nature, and rain. We loved to drench ourselves in rain for hours. Whenever there was rain (which was quite frequent), we just couldn’t resist and go out, if we weren’t at college or studying. Our best past time was to take a walk on that undulating road in front of our boarding place, far and away. Sometimes we visit our other friends, also boarding at Kadawatha road or just wander around in forests, explore new ‘PAGDANDEES’, cute houses and just get friendly by sending flirtatious smile to old Uncles, Aunties and kids.
The village was not modern but roads were built in such a way (by courtesy of Dutch or Portuguese) that rain water never accumulated to form dirty muddy puddles. Therefore rain showers always used to add freshness, sparkling hues in natural plants and delightful aroma to sand.
It was all so beautiful. Every phase of nature was in its purest, complete form. The days were bright and shining with radiant yellowish orange sun that brushed the sky with series of red and yellow when about to set; the nights were dark and shadowy with sweet blue moonlight. I remember I was bewildered when I saw the sky on our first full-moon (Poya Day, they call it) night-walk. The ground adjacent to Kadawatha road bathed with moonlight that day, so my friend and I ceased studying, informed our land-lady and decided to go in the ground. I remember standing in the middle of that ground mesmerized by the mysterious beauty around us when my friend Shirmeen pointed at sky, “Look, look above!” There were thousands and thousands of blue shining dots, twinkling on the sky with a big white circle in the center. It seemed as if thousands of tiny azure sapphires were spread on black satin sheet, with glaring ball in the center. It was not as if I had seen it for the first time but never had such a clear view.... It was picture perfect. The moon was so close I felt, that I could pluck it from the sky with a jump. We later pondered that the reason of not witnessing so many shining stars was because of the Karachi’s artificial neon lights on ground. I had always loved and fantasized moon because my father used to take us (me and my siblings) on walk in moonlights. He made us see ‘old lady with her spindle’ in the moon and recited us “Chanda Mama duur ke” during those fabulous walks.
I studied in Srilanka for two years and waited for two more years for the reopening of college, thus wasted four years of my academic years. I lost quite a lot in terms of time, youth years and money, but what I gained, certainly was of enormous value.
The most precious of all, was the relationship of my friends. I was blessed by the sincerest friends by the grace of Allah since my childhood days till to date. Although, the time I spent in each company was short, but the love I gained was tremendous. Among my Srilankan friends I have Buddhist, Hindu, Christian and Muslim friends. I learned a lot from them about their religion and respect, tolerance towards others believes.
As it was Zia’s regime in Pakistan, ‘Hudood Ordinance’ was the burning issue of those days. Women activist were protesting, debating about Islamic laws. We were Bhutto lover and hated Zia for that matter. I remember I had a heated discussion with one of my Srilankan Muslim friend Reza Mansoor. I was agnostic at that time. He urged me to read Quran by translation then only one could make right from wrong. It was because of him that for the first time I really got interested in reading and understanding of Quran.

All my friends were special but there was one guy who was unique in every way. His name was Bahawan. I used to despise him in the beginning. He was Tamil, Hindu, strict vegetarian, dark and stout man. He had jet black curly hairs, acne scarred face, stub nose, muscular body, broad hands and fingers and weird gait. A chain smoker he was, loved to drink but had good reputation among ladies. Like a child he played jokes but never saw him disrespecting any girl. He was sinner and saint at the same time.
Sometimes his persona scared me; sometimes his mocking over my weight used to hurt me. I was used to all these similar insults since childhood, but I was able to move on because of love, admiration, and support from my friends, teachers, and family. There I was alone far from home, new country, new language, naïve, vulnerable soul.
Our anatomy Professor had divided our whole batch in many groups in order to perform dissections. Each human body had eight students at a time, four on each side. I prayed real hard to have my Pakistani friends in my group but instead, I got the group where I was the only Pakistani girl. And for my harassment (I thought at that time) or was that a revenge I couldn’t comprehend, they put ‘Bahawan’ in my group. Therefore no chatting was to be in Urdu, more ridicule and no help. I totally felt like a fish out of water…lonely and depressed.

But I was way wrong…

As the days passed and studies became tougher, I saw frenzied students in cutthroat competition, transforming into greedy hawks to acquire Colombo faculty notes/good grades. The studies were very tough for us, the Pakistani students. The exams pattern was totally novel. It was the first time we had heard of the term MCQ’s, negative markings. Moreover, parents’ expectations were added burden on us. Here I must acknowledge the superb standard of education of Srilanka. The local students were head and shoulder above us. They studied Glucose cycle’ the ‘Kerb’s cycle’, human biology during their ‘A’ levels when we crammed our brain with frog, cockroach, rabbit and earthworm knowledge.
Bahawan was friend of friends. All the students from different body groups used to take his help in studies. He was genius, intelligent, top student of the class. His knowledge of literature, his philosophical mind, his casualness and kind-of-, indifference towards his own unmatched smartness, his detrainment from competitions and his unconditional undemanding supporting hand to all, had amazed me. But what really dawned on me as a pleasant shock was his deep understanding of Iqbal’s ‘Khudee’ philosophy. I felt utter fool in front of him as he expected more from me on the subject coz I was a Pakistani.


The relationship I acquired with Bahawan was exceptional. We never met anywhere outside than college, no dates, no parties, no cinema, never sat side by side during college parties or lecture room, no physical contact, not even had hand shake. But I remember whenever there were fewer crowds in library or in basement/dissection hall… we talked. He could talk for hours and I had always been a good listener. His perspective towards religion, world, life, and love were enlightening, refreshing for me, (intellectual discussions always attracts me…stimulates my mind and stirs my soul).
When I came back to Pakistan and finally left NCMC, Bahawan and I remained in touch for one or two years through letter writing, then, that ended too. I have not heard from him since then.
I have a habit of keeping letters, greeting cards, pictures even torn pages where some nice verse, notes were scribbled for me from my precious friends; It is my treasure.
Although each letter has special place in my heart but Bahawan’s letters! They were extraordinary in many ways; his vocabulary, high-class form of expressions, even his formation of letters, and his feelings in between the lines were very profound and quite unfound.

Following is the excerpt from one of his letter…A singular gem from my treasure that I share with you.

“How is life over there? In SriLanka there were dramatic changes in the recent past. The IPKF left the country and after a brief period of three months of peace, the war broke out in the North east sector last month. My home town was the most affected, close to about 1500-1600 people, army guerillas have died since then. This time is severe than ever before. There is an uneasy calmness prevailing in the rest of the country. The simmering tensions can boil over at any time…which means disaster.
These days I am a bit confused and confounded. I feel a stranger in many ways; an alien in a framework of time, place and society. If you have come across William Wordsworth’s “Lonely Cloud” you’d get what I mean. If not, read it! Incidentally I am remained Pasternak*, who wrote during the turbulent days of October revolution, “What a summer, what a summer, how unsought and undeserved!” In short it’s all tragic, realistic and revealing; the profound ignorance of man despite centuries of refinement and restoration. I agree with the idea of “Shangiri La”… Let all varieties of flowers of civilization be crushed and trampled without mercy by the ruthless heels of time and in that wasteland will blossom the bright flowers of compassion!
One of my friends saw the letter you wrote me. He started fooling me. I told him that in the negation of everything there remains one thing positive and that’s love…eternal, nonspecific and non possessive. I hope you’d agree with my definition! At least it’s nice to throw away everything at least for a moment or so and to experience the bliss of total abandon… that’s obscure, exhilarating and shares the nature of infinity! Let Love make the heart tender towards all and tenderness yields that priceless treasure called friendship. They say that the soul has consented once more to be encased in bone and skin, just to taste love once again!”

Bahawan wherever you are now I just want you to know that I agree with your definition of love.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

A Nomad


A Nomad
I looked at myself
Tarnished with blisters
Bleeding soul
Painful memories,
Reminiscences still hurts
The tempest of fate
Avalanche of events
Failed me again
And again
Wrecked my life

I paused…
I rest…
I sigh…
Just a moment in journey

Once again I pulled up my courage,
Made a will
For a new voyage
A fresh expedition
Wonder how unkind and cruel
Would be destiny’s weather
Wonder how many blisters and sores
Would my longing for journey gathers
I wonder but not fear
Neither stop nor despair

Those yearns for life
Hopes and will to survive
Curiosity and love to find
Strange people, adventures
Exotic destinations
I decided to begin
A fresh expedition